Bellus Lacrimosa
by SugarLandBabyGirl
Summary: Mikazuki Namida never had much talent or confidence to speak of. However, when her friends request that an experienced Jonin take her under their wing for a while, neither they nor she expect the pandemonium that soon ensues, just from a simple request.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: I do not in any way, shape, or form own Naruto.**_

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_**Chapter One**_

Soft, wide bondi blue eyes blinked owlishly in bewildered confusion, as the eighteen year old kunoichi tried to take in what she had just been told. Five of her long time acquaintances were staring at her waiting for her to speak or move even, the snowy haired teenager was as stiff and motionless as a corpse. "Breathe Namida, you're turning pale." The kind voice of Inuzuka Hana caused the girl to jump at the sudden firm, yet friendly grip on her right shoulder as the three younger males behind her quietly snickered at the old inside joke. The confused girl gave her old teammate a shaky forced smile and nervously shifted around when she took notice of all the attention she was receiving. Namida never did well when she was placed under pressure or when she was placed under so much scrutiny.

Namida clasp her shaky hands together in front of her in an attempt to hide her obvious nervousness as her bright eyes shyly lowered to the wooden floor. "B-but, why?" The nervous girl asked quietly as her eyes slowly trailed upwards until she met the kind brown eyes of the Sandaime Hokage, who was calmly sitting behind his desk smoking from his pipe, with a kindly smile tugging at his lips. "Mikazuki-san all of your friends have requested this, several times in fact and I am inclined to grant them their request." The Sandaime Hokage spoke after he took a long drag from his pipe. "Do not think of this as punishment or a lowering of your rank Mikazuki-san, because that is not what this is, not in the least. We merely wish to see if you can advance better under another's guidance." He quickly added after seeing the young kunoichi's bright eyes dim from sadness.

"Yes sir, I understand Hokage-sama," Namida bowed, her long snowy hair falling down to curtain her pale face. Namida did understand why she was being re-assigned. Her two old teammates were busy with their duties, with one being a medical-nin and the other an aspiring ANBU captain and her old sensei was always busy with long missions away from the village. But what she couldn't understand was why her current senpai was abandoning her to someone else. She wondered if he had finally lost faith in her and could only pass her to another in defeat. If he did then she wouldn't blame him. Only her ex-sensei, her two old teammates, her two friends and the Hokage seemed to truly believe that she was actually worth something. Even she didn't believe in herself anymore.

"Shiranui-san was unable to make it to the meeting due to an errand. However, he wished for me to tell you that if you would, he would like to meet you at the training grounds around five this evening." Namida's bondi blue eyes brightened in slight hope at the Hokage's words. _'Maybe… Shiranui-senpai hasn't given up on me yet.'_ She thought with a slightly lighter heart, but her heart was still heavy with sadness and doubt. "Who is my new senpai?" Namida asked nervously wringing her slender hands in apprehension. "Ah," The Hokage chuckled softly and smiled somewhat apologetically. Instantly Namida's heart sunk, she knew bad news was coming. "It seems that your new senpai is running a little late."

Instantly everyone in the room, except the Hokage and Namida became frighteningly silent. "Hokage-sama, you don't mean that Shiranui-san actually chose _him_, of all people… do you?" Namida's ex-sensei Tadahiro Kanya asked in disbelief, as she moved to stand beside her confused and frightened former student. Her cool dark blue eyes were slightly narrowed and a frown was marring her youthful, yet matured face. "Yes, I'm afraid so Tadahiro-san, Shiranui-san has chosen _him_." The six foot tall woman's frown deepened as she crossed her arms over her chest, her boyishly short dark flaun red hair ruffling in the warm breeze.

"Unbelievable," Kanya muttered darkly, her dark eyes turned to glance down at her visibly shaking and royally confused former student. _'If she's this flighty now, she'll probably lose all of what little faith she has now when he gets a hold of her. He won't see her potential... He'll discard her as a lost cause as soon as he sees her… I can't let him ruin her future and what little confidence she has left, I won't let him.' _Kanya's cold eyes snapped back to the placid Hokage and he knew what she was going to say even before she opened her mouth. Kanya had always been overprotective of her youngest student

"I object Hokage-sama. While I do respect Shiranui-san's decision and input on these matters, I however, do not believe his decision is right. _He_ is obviously not the right sensei or senpai for Namida-chan. His methods are unsuited for the type of training she requires. I ask you to disband this decision till further notice, Hokage-sama. I wish to speak to Shiranui-san personally about this." Kanya's tone was practically glacial when she mentioned the two men. As far as she was concerned Shiranui Genma had no right to elect a new teacher for _her_ student without first consulting her first, even if he was Namida's current overseer.

"I do understand your worries Tadahiro-san however I must disagree with you on this one. While _his_ teaching methods are a bit unorthodox, I believe most strongly that he is the best one suited to help Mikazuki-san." The Hokage replied solemnly trying to calm the angry Jonin, before she went out and found the two very unfortunate men who had displeased her so greatly. There was no doubt within his mind that Kanya was going to confront the brown haired man later on. The Hokage was hoping that by the time she found him her anger would have calmed, even if just a little. Perhaps he could send her on a mission for a few hours after the meeting was finished.

"But _I_ do _not_, Hokage-sama!" Kanya bit out, yet kept her manners and most of her temper in check. "He will ruin her future and I refuse to let him!" Kanya's hand suddenly shot back to point at someone behind her, as her eyes darkened into midnight black upon catching sight of the unwanted man as he quietly walked through the door, acutely aware of what was waiting for him. Namida was unsure if she really wanted to turn around to see who had angered her ex-sensei so much or not. Perhaps it was safer not knowing, but she was curious about the man who had riled her sensei up so easily. Namida heard the new man behind her sigh wearily. "You haven't changed at bit Tadahiro-san, still giving unsuspecting people a bad impression of me." The man half-heartedly attempted to joke but the humor was obviously lost on Kanya, who snorted and turned to fully face the newcomer, her arms crossed over her pert chest.

"It's not without base or reason, Hatake." Kanya sneered at the lazy Jonin, who just scratched the back of his head and gave an aloof half shrug of his shoulders. "You're not needed Hatake, so get lost." Kanya's snarky order and deadly glare didn't faze the silver haired Jonin as he moved away from the door and further into the room. The lazy Jonin saw that Tadahiro's tone did bother her former student, as the skinny girl jumped like she had been hit when the elder woman spoke. "Hokage-sama," He greeted with a polite bow after passing the two kunoichi, making sure to give them both a wide berth, least the overprotective Tadahiro attempt to maim him for scaring her student or something of the like.

"Thank you for coming and accepting this proposal, Hatake-san. I know you're meeting with your new team this afternoon." The Hokage smiled sympathetically the images of the silver haired mans three rowdy students flashing in his mind's eye. "It's not a problem Hokage-sama." Kakashi replied in a tone that was almost wholly dispassionate. As the Hokage and the new Jonin greeted one another Namida shyly studied what she could see of him. He was fairly tall, though just barely shorter than her sensei. He was also physically well-built, yet not overly so as a ninja should be. He had wild spiky silver-grey hair that was slightly longer and thicker than her ex-sensei's boyish cut. Namida couldn't see his face, but she could tell that he wore his forehead protector in an odd fashion, while hers hung loosely around her neck.

Kamizuki Izumo and Hagane Kotetsu quietly eased up behind the quiet snow haired girl and bid her their good-byes before they stealthily snuck out of the room with somewhat piteous smiles on their lips. Hatake Kakashi wasn't exactly the Jonin they had in mind when they spoke to the Hokage about a new sensei. However, despite the man's unusual teaching methods he was a great teacher, just maybe not for someone as reserved and skittish as their friend. Namida wasn't hotheaded or loud by nature and she did not always respond well to a strict hand. They had viewed with their own eyes that such tactics made her crawl within herself for an extended period of time. The sad part however, was that Hatake Kakashi could be just that, despite his outward appearance. Perhaps the older Jonin was just the catalyst needed to prompt a change within the young kunoichi or he could god forbid make her condition worse.

Inuzuka Hana and Kizashi Tokito moved to stand beside their former teammate and sensei. Hana was there to support Namida while Tokito was more so there to restrain his old sensei if necessary, as she was well known for her overly volatile and violent temper. Tokito was the eldest of the three, as he turned nineteen just a week prior as well as joining the ANBU a little under a year ago. Tokito was handsome, yet not completely boyishly so, with his mischievous shamrock green eyes, dark sun-kissed blonde hair and enviously smooth olive hued skin. He was just an inch or so shorter than the grey haired Jonin, but not as stocky or intimidating, however his speed and catlike agility more than made up for his lack of brute physical strength. He instinctively tensed when the silver haired Jonin turned around to inspect his new student with idle curiosity in his dark eyes. Tokito made sure to keep one eye on Namida and the other on his sensei, just in case.

"Apparently, you have no faith in your student, Tadahiro-san." Kakashi commented with a bored tone, though his words were as sharp as a katana as his one visible eye flickered from the older woman to the skinny kunoichi behind her. "Wrong again Hatake, I have no faith in _you_." Kanya bit back offended that the silver haired man would make such a claim straight to her face. _'Of course he would, he is the Hatake Kakashi after all.'_ She silently reminded herself just who she was dealing with and why she disliked him so much. The silver haired man 'hummed' softly and sighed heavily as he took in the sight of the snappy red headed woman standing guard in front of the smallest kunoichi like a mother bear, with the other two team members standing at the smaller girl's side. He knew from that exact moment he was going to have a difficult road ahead of him in training the girl.

He already had a quick summery of the girl already and it wasn't very impressive, much like his three new students. She obviously had little to no confidence in herself, as she refused to remove her eyes from the floor and was already starting to fidget under his light scrutiny. Over all she was quite the odd sight to behold with her snowflake white hair, healthily pastel skin tone and spindly physique, which looked too thin to actually be healthy in any way. He cocked and eyebrow when he noticed how truly young, fragile and innocent she looked standing there surrounded by her sensei and two teammates. They were not only significantly taller, but also thicker than she and none of them were even remotely close to being bulky. She looked like a living porcelain doll and so very breakable.

Kakashi sighed aloud and shifted his weight into a more comfortable position as he thought over what had been requested of him. His conclusion of her was already complete. The girl didn't belong in the shinobi world. She was too weak and far too obvious. However he didn't have to look at her companions to know that they truly believed that she was capable of becoming a decent kunoichi. Even the three men that were missing believed in her, but what could he do if she didn't even believe in herself. She looked as if she already knew that he was going to write her off as a lost cause. He would even go as far as to say she had expected it long before he even showed up, which irked him quite a bit. However he didn't let his annoyance show.

He did have the right to refuse her as a potential student. She wasn't cut out for the life shinobi led, that much was clear. Just what did they think he could do with her? He wasn't a miracle worker and that's exactly what it would take for her to become a shinobi. Why did she choose such a profession in the first place, he had to wonder with a hidden frown. It wasn't his taste to dig into other people's pasts, as he didn't want or like them digging into his. He was mildly curious about her decision and what everyone else managed to see in her that made them so steadfast in their choice to keep her a kunoichi. Truthfully he couldn't see anything in her outward appearance, but he couldn't see her eyes. It was always easier to read people through their eyes rather than their body language or voice.

If he took her under his wing he knew they would have many obstacles to overcome. The most prominent being that she was used to being overprotected and he could only expect that everyone probably went easy on her which meant he would, sadly, have to start from the very beginning with her just like with the Genin. Kakashi had to admit he really had his work cut out for him with the three rookies, if the three of them even passed his test. If they didn't he would already have his hands full with the older girl, but if they did then he would probably lose his sanity that much quicker. It was a straight up gamble either way and one he was bound to lose. The odds were clearly not within his favor.

The girl suddenly stumbled forward in an awkwardly swift bow, but somehow tripped over her own two feet and landed hard on her knees. Kakashi half expected the girl to cry out in pain, however he only caught a slight muffled whimper before the room fell silent and without any hesitance the girl continued her interrupted bow. "Please forgive my rudeness senpai, I'm Mikazuki Namida." The girl spoke her voice was soft and earnest, if not a bit scared as she practically glued her forehead to the floor. Tokito sighed and shook his head at his friend's clumsiness, while Hana couldn't keep the sad frown from her lips. Namida really could make a bad first impression of herself that was for sure. "It's alright Mikazuki-san, you don't need to bow or apologize." Kakashi told her with a hidden smile while offering her a hand. "I'm Hatake Kakashi it's nice to meet you Mikazuki-san."

The girl flinched back upon seeing the hand held out in front of her face and hesitated a moment, before she practically jumped to her feet and away from him. "I-I'm sorry Hatake-senpai, you don't have to help me." Namida replied with a bright embarrassed blush as she moved her head so her long hair could hide her face from everyone's view. _'I really am an embarrassment to myself,'_ she thought with a trembling frown as her sweaty, shaking hands instinctually latched onto her headband. Kakashi waved off her apology with a languid motion, "It's fine, don't worry about it." His words and casual manner seemed to puzzle the girl, as a confused halfhearted smile twitched at her visible lips which was the only part of her face he could see due to the rest of her face being hidden behind her thick mane of white hair.

Namida nodded her acceptance, but remained silent. She decided that it was better if she said nothing as to keep from embarrassing herself any further. "Well since we've introduced ourselves let's go meet the rest of the team." Kakashi announced with a hidden smile trying to lighten the tense atmosphere. Kanya hissed angrily through her teeth, but otherwise remained silent though her rigid glare pointed at the silver haired Jonin spoke volumes of her distrust and extreme dislike for him and the whole situation over all. Namida nodded her head and silent followed after the Jonin confused about his words. "Namida you come over to my house for dinner tonight, you got that?" Hana ordered with a friendly smile. "I will thank you Hana." Namida replied with an appreciative yet slightly fearful smile. Eating wasn't the only thing they were going to be doing, of that Namida was well aware of. She just wished that the oncoming lecture could be postponed until a little later.

"Um, Hatake-senpai," Namida started to ask as they exited the Hokage's home, but stopped herself short unsure if it would be rude to ask him where they were going and what he had meant when he said 'the rest of the team'. "Yeah, what is it?" He asked not unkindly and turned to watch his newest student. He still couldn't see her eyes or the rest of her face, but her hands and lips were quite expressional. "I… I was wondering what you meant by 'let's meet the rest of the team'. Do you have a squad of Genin?" She asked after a short pause and a curious twitch of her pastel pink lips. "Yeah, well kind of," He chuckled, "I have yet to meet them myself." He said with an embarrassed smile and scratching the back of his neck at the admission.

"O-oh," Namida stuttered and looked down with a thoughtful frown on her lips. "Is there something wrong?" Kakashi asked seriously, wondering what could have caused the sudden change of mood. "It's… it's just that… you didn't have to accept me if you were already busy with your own team. I would have managed… somehow." She whispered the last word to herself, but he heard her. She really didn't want to be a burden him or anyone else, did she? Kakashi sighed wondering just how he always managed to get into tight situations all of the time. "Listen, don't worry about it alright? Everything will work out, trust me." Namida nodded in understanding but opened her mouth to reply, only to have the Jonin cut her off before the words could even form in her throat.

"I don't want to hear another word about it, Mikazuki-san. I accepted you as my student well aware of the difficulties beforehand. It was my decision alone to make. Are we clear?" He asked his tone darker and less casual. Namida's whole body tensed and she stepped away from the Jonin in fear. "Y-yes we are clear Hatake-senpai. I'm sorry, please forgive me, I didn't mean to upset you." She replied quickly, her eyes wide in alarm. Kakashi's eyebrow rose in curiosity when he noticed that she not only flinched away from him, but her hand also moved to the kunai pouch strapped to her right leg at the same moment. That was a curious move for someone so meek. He wondered if it was perhaps an instinctual move when someone imposed on her or when she thought she was being threatened. He made a mental note to address that action with her later, after they met with the Genin.

"Good, I'm glad we're on the same page now." He nodded his approval with a hidden smile, which only served to unnerve the undernourished looking girl even further. _'Ah, I really do have my hands full with this one.'_ "Well let's get going, it appears we're already quite late." He announced turning around to head towards the Academy but made no effort to quicken his pace. Namida watched her new senpai walk away in something akin to surprise and disbelief. He acted as if being late was of no importance whatsoever. That just didn't set right with the eighteen year old, but she withheld her comments. She had already upset him once and in less than twenty minutes of meeting him, there was no need to burry herself any deeper in her self-dug hole. By the time Namida snapped out of her thoughts and shock her new senpai was already several yards ahead of her and not slowing down.

A startled gasp left her lips when she realized he was not going to wait for her. _'And why should he?' _She was technically an adult and a Chunin after all. He wasn't required to hold her hand and delicately lead her along like an infant, not that she even wanted him to. Besides the action being rather degrading for a woman her age, she was uncomfortable with strangers touching her in intimate ways, especially if they were male. Namida caught up to her senpai rather quickly, but stayed at least a minimum of two yards behind him and towards his left. If he took notice of this action or not she hadn't a clue as he made no indication of even acknowledging her presence. Namida sighed through her nose, so he wouldn't hear and looked down at her feet dejectedly. _'I really must have angered him earlier, even though he smiled… Shiranui-senpai why did you choose this man? Did I do something to upset you as well? Is that the reason you don't want me anymore? If I did, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.'_

Kakashi meanwhile couldn't help but feel a little uneasy as the girl was following after him so silently that had he not seen her shadow trailing after him on the wall he would have never taken notice of her at all. He could also see the gears turning in her head at a rapid pace. Not to mention her silence was unnerving. It was like she expected him to just suddenly turn on her like a mad dog. He had sensed the same thing earlier when she had flinched away from his hand in the Hokage's office and when he had tried, and ultimately failed to make her see that it was his choice to have her as his student. The thought had crossed his mind that perhaps she was afraid of men, but that didn't quite make sense. She was at ease around Tokito, Izumo and Kotetsu and from what he had heard she was the same around her former senpai, Genma as well. He wondered what the difference was between himself and the others. Was he more intimidating or harsher towards her than she was used to? He hadn't thought he was either of those. Perhaps she was just very sensitive?

He questioned his choice of taking her on as his student not for the first time that day, or even the second. However he would wait until after their first or second training session to make a final decision. The first session he decided, would be after their meeting with the three Genin. That might set her back a bit on her dinner plans, but her odd defensive reactions towards him earlier was pecking at his curiosity like a flock of starving vultures.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter Two**_

As Namida silently followed after her new senpai she attempted to make conversation several times, but the words always died in her throat before they could even be formed on her lips. He didn't seem inclined to start a conversation either so she let it be, even though the silence was uncomfortable and tense at least it felt that way to her. Despite their break-neck snail pace, Namida soon found herself walking down the familiar shiny hardwood floored halls of the Ninja Academy. It had been nearly seven years since she had seen the inside of the school, but the memories were still as fresh as ever. A small smile crept along the edges of her lips, but whether or not it met her eyes was hidden beneath snowy tresses. Namida's footsteps were as quiet as a cat's as she slowed when the silver haired Jonin paused briefly to slide open a class room door and step through only to have a eraser full of chalk smack him in the head.

Silence ensued for a moment before boisterous laughter cut through the silent halls and a young boy's voice crowing about how he tricked his new sensei. Namida covered her mouth with her hand to stifle her giggles. Kakashi picked up the eraser and spared the three Genin and the white haired Chunin behind him a glance. He hummed in mock thought. "How can I put this, my first impression of this group," He started off in a surprisingly calm and careless tone. "You're a bunch of idiots." He finished in the same tone, which caused Namida to poke her head around the edge of the doorframe to see the three Genin and their reactions to his blunt insult. From the black looks on their faces she could tell that they were about as impressed by their new sensei as he was of them. The Genin team was made of two boys and a girl. There was one pink haired girl with big green eyes, a blonde haired boy with mischievous bright blue eyes and a dark haired boy with hard obsidian eyes. The dark haired boy seemed oddly familiar to her but Namida couldn't place him.

Strangely enough he was the first one to notice her out of the group. Namida couldn't suppress a shiver as those dark eyes flickered over her and seemingly looked through her before they dismissed her like she was nothing of importance. "This is my subordinate, Mikazuki Namida." Kakashi suddenly announced and motioned behind him, which instantly brought the two pre-teen's full attention on Namida who blanched before she shyly stepped into the room and bowed this time without incident. "It's nice to meet you." She said softly as she pulled her body back up into a straight position. The blonde haired boy cocked his head to the side like a curious puppy and gave her an adorable grin. Namida blushed and shyly smiled back. The pink haired girl bowed back while the dark haired boy just grunted. "Well, let's move this conversation to a more comfortable place." Kakashi announced as he passed through the doorway with a silent hand motion for the four younger ninja to follow him.

Namida let the three pre-teens exit before she left and slid the door closed behind her. The blonde haired boy slowed until he was walking just a little ahead of the white-haired Chunin. Namida watched the curious boy through her long bangs and wondered why he was with her instead of his teammates. "Hey," The boy suddenly spoke out with a loud, yet friendly tone that made the quiet Chunin jump from surprise. "Doesn't your first name mean 'tear' and your last mean 'crescent moon'?" He asked with a wide grin seeming not to notice that he startled the older ninja. "Yes, it does." Namida answered slowly, unsure as to why he had asked such a question. A thoughtful expression popped onto the boy's face before he seemed to come to a conclusion and exclaimed in delight. "So that means you're the tear of the crescent moon, right? You're like royalty then, huh?" He asked with such sincerity and innocence that Namida could only smile at his attempted compliment.

Before she could answer his question the pink haired girl turned around and yelled at him for asking a stupid question, then blushed and apologized for both herself and the boy, Uzumaki Naruto. Namida had never even seen the infamous boy before, but just from spending a few minutes in his presence she knew that the rumors were all completely false. He wasn't a monster. He was just a hyper little boy with a cute smile and a talent for causing mischief, who unknowingly housed a dark being inside of himself. He was also lonely and angry. Namida normally didn't attempt to acknowledge such things in strangers, but those two emotions were some of the same ones she knew only too well and could easily spot them in others. Without even noticing it Namida followed her new senpai and the three Genin up to a vacant rooftop. When she noticed that the silver-haired Jonin had lazily perched himself against the protective railing of the building, she gingerly moved around the three Genin and habitually moved to stand off to the side where she wasn't in anyone's direct sight.

If Hatake senpai noticed her distance then he made no mention of it, much to Namida's relief. The three Genin found comfortable seats and settled out on the steps in front of their sensei, while the pale girl stood off to the side in a more obligatory erect posture with her hands gently linked in front her in a very servant-like manner. "Alright, why don't you introduce yourselves one at a time," Kakashi drawled in his usual laissez-faire tone. "Introduce ourselves?" The pink haired girl asked in confusion. "Well what are we supposed to say?" She then asked and Namida couldn't help but raise a curious brow. It was a simple question but she couldn't put two and two together? Kakashi just shrugged. "Things you like, things you hate, dreams for the future, hobbies. Things like that." He said before he re-crossed his arms. "Why don't you tell us stuff first? I mean before we talk, tell us about you so we can see how it's supposed to work." Naruto asked.

"Me?" The silver haired Jonin asked pointing at himself. "I'm Hatake Kakashi. Things I like and things I hate," He 'hummed' as if in thought for a moment before he spoke next. "I don't feel like telling you that." Naruto and the pink haired girl gasped at their new sensei's short and blunt answer, but he didn't seem to notice and he quickly moved on. "My dreams for the future… never really thought about it, as for my hobbies… I have lots of hobbies." He finished. Naruto and the pink haired girl instantly started whispering among each other, but Namida couldn't hear what they were saying, however she knew they had to be talking about Hatake-senpai. "What about you over there in the corner?" The dark haired boy suddenly asked and Namida startled at the unexpected attention. Namida bowed and once again introduced herself, before she paused to think about what her answers would be. "I… I like many things, but I don't actually hate anything or anyone." She answered slowly, but truthfully.

"My dreams for the future…" She stopped herself short thinking of her dreams but decided to keep them to herself. "My dreams for the future are my own." She finished in a slightly firmer voice that was very dissimilar from her usual soft tone. "And my hobbies… I have a few, but they aren't significant." She finished in her usual meek tone. "Okay, your turn," Kakashi interrupted the oncoming questions from the two more talkative pre-teens. "You on the right, you first," Naruto grinned and started to tug at his head band. "Believe it! I'm Uzumaki Naruto, I like instant ramen in a cup and I really like the ramen Iruka-sensei gets me from the Ichiraku noodle shop, but I hate the three minutes you have to wait after you pour the water in the ramen cup!" Namida smiled discreetly behind her hair at his childlike excitement over food. "My hobby is eating different kinds of ramen and comparing them and my future dream is… to be the greatest Hokage! Then the whole village will stop disrespecting me and start treating me like I'm somebody! Somebody important!"

At his unexpected outburst Namida was sure she wasn't the only one surprised to hear such a bold statement come from the boy. "Alright, next," Kakashi called. The pink haired girl instantly blushed and smiled. "I'm Haruno Sakura! What I like-uh… I mean the person I like is-uh…" She paused, suddenly bashful and glanced over at the dark haired boy with a brighter blush and sparkling eyes. "Uh… my hobby is-uh," She shook her head still blushing and giggled before she spoke again. "My dream for the future is-" She suddenly stopped, giggled and hid her face in her hands with a squeal. "And, what do you hate?" Kakashi asked trying to get her to finish a sentence. "Naruto!" She shouted crossly before she went back to blushing. Namida's brow furrowed at the girl's annoyance towards the blonde boy and bit her tongue to keep from defending him from the girl's harsh statement. "Last one," Kakashi sighed still as careless as before, but his voice sounded almost tired. "My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I hate a lot of things and I don't particularly like anything."

Namida sucked in a slow breath at the boy's admission and callous tone. Now she knew why he looked so familiar. She had been a very loose acquaintance of his elder brother at one time, but that was long ago and in a different time. None of it mattered now. "What I have is not a dream, because I will make it a reality. I'm going to restore my clan and destroy a certain someone." As a tense silence fell over the group there was no doubt in Namida's mind as to who the 'certain someone' the young Uchiha was speaking about killing was. The true depth of his words and the conviction behind them scared her. She could practically feel his inner hate seeping from his pores. "Good you're each unique and have your own ideas. We'll have our first mission tomorrow." Hatake senpai didn't seem bothered, but Namida was starting to wonder if anything other than her questions ruffled his feathers. Naruto suddenly saluted the Jonin and asked about the mission they were going to have.

"It's a task that the four of us will do together." He announced and Naruto instantly went into an energized tirade of 'what, what, what' while Namida was curious as to why it would only be four and not the five of them. "A survival exercise." Kakashi answered in a slightly more firm tone. "Huh, a survival exercise?" Naruto asked in clear dislike. "I thought we were supposed to have a real mission not more practice. We already did this stuff at the academy, that's how we got here." Sakura said in a tone of voice that Hana would have called 'bratty' and 'know-it-all'. Kakashi however was not discouraged. "This is not like your previous training." He told them. "So uh, so uh, what kind of training is it then?" Naruto asked in confusion. Then the silver haired Jonin did something that surprised everyone especially Namida: he started chuckling like a little school boy with a big secret. "Hey, hold on that's a normal question what's so funny?" Sakura asked sourly, taking offense at his laughter. Kakashi chuckled and gave a close-eyed smile.

"Well, if I tell you the answer you're not going to like it." He told them teasingly and chuckled to himself some more. Naruto looked completely lost, as well as Sakura, but Sasuke and Namida were passive. Namida was unreceptive due to already having been in their situation once before, while the young Uchiha just seemed content to wait for the answer. "Out of the twenty-seven graduates that came here only nine will actually be accepted as Genin. The other eighteen will be weeded out and sent back to the academy. In other words this is a make-it or break-it, pass fail test and the chance that you'll fail is at least sixty-six percent." He told them directly to which every single one of them made an unhappy face to. "See didn't I tell you, you wouldn't like it." He asked and Naruto, ever the theatrical young boy had to loudly speak out. "That's crazy! We worked hard to get here, believe it! What was that graduation test for anyway?"

Namida felt bad for them. It hadn't been the greatest news she had ever heard either, but she had found out from Tokito before they were even split into teams. "Oh, that. That was just to select candidates who might become Genin or not." He answered in an indifferent manner. "What?" Naruto exclaimed in disbelief. "That's how it is. I decide whether you pass or fail. Be at the designated training spot at five am and bring your ninja gear." Namida frowned at the harsh tone the Jonin was using, but was too nervous from earlier to speak out. All three of the Genin were shaking and no doubt trying to psych themselves up from the unexpected blow. Kakashi turned his back to them and held out his hand in a rather rude motion of dismissal. "It's it, you're dismissed." He waved them off carelessly, before he remembered something. "Oh," He turned back to look at them over his shoulder. "Tomorrow you better skip breakfast or else you'll puke." How harsh, Namida thought with a hidden frown. It seemed like he wanted to make them fail before they even began.

"Mikazuki-san, let's go." Kakashi's voice broke Namida out of her thoughts and with a polite bow to the three Genin hopefuls she silently followed the silver haired Jonin off the roof and onto another. "We're going to the training grounds." He informed her before they reached their destination. Namida just nodded her head in silent acceptance knowing that he was more than likely going to test her abilities and decide whether or not he was going to officially take her as his student just like he was going to do with the three Genin tomorrow. Despite her knowledge of what was to come, and firsthand experience Namida couldn't help but feel nervous. When they reached the secluded forest area Namida tensed and took four steps back, while Kakashi continued forward before he turned back to face the pale girl with a curious cock of his head. "I guess you're ready." He sighed and watched her reaction. Namida nodded, but made no further move.

"This is training I'm sure you've already been through, but just for the sake of it I'll tell you what's expected. I want to you come at me with everything you have, any type of attack will do and if you're not prepared to kill me, then you'll be the one who suffers. We'll quit and start when I say so, understand?" He asked sternly not paying any attention to the five hidden spectators in the trees. "I understand senpai." Namida answered quietly either ignoring the watchers or not knowing they were there. "Alright… begin!" He announced and quickly threw three kunai at the girl who easily dodged them before she pulled out a smoke bomb, set it off and disappeared. Kakashi bent down close to the ground to avoid the kunai that was thrown at his back and quickly rolled to his side to avoid the four that were well aimed for his hands and feet. _'So, she likes to hide and play cat and mouse does she?'_ He mused and ducked to evade the two senbon aimed for his neck.

'_Compliments of Genma's training I assume and well handled too. He should be pleased.'_ He noted with a hidden smirk as the smoke began to clear. From his well covered perch in a tree Kakashi surveyed the open field and surrounding trees and bushes for the Chunin, only to notice that all of the kunai she had thrown at him were missing save only for the marks in the earth and trees where they had previously made contact. _'She picked them up while I was distracted with the senbon?'_ He wondered with furrowed brows. That was an odd thing for any ninja to do. _'Found you,'_ He grinned when he finally managed to get a lock on her location. Four trees away, crouched on the ground by the trunk. She knew where he was and she also knew that he knew where she was. He had to give her credit. She had perfected stealth and her aim wasn't anything to sneer at either, but her lack of ninjutsu or genjutsu had him wondering, so he pulled up his hitai-ate to reveal his sharingan eye.

In the time that it took him to open his scarred eye Namida had already moved from her hiding spot and disappeared again. Kakashi sniffed the air in an attempt to catch her scent on the breeze, but had no such luck. Unexpectedly a senbon struck him in the back of the neck, but before he could fall off the tree limb he puffed and turned into a log. Namida's eyes narrowed in concentration as she slinked behind an old fallen tree and began to analyze the situation. There was only so many kunai, senbon and shuriken left in her pouch, even though she had already collected all of her used kunai. However she only had one senbon needle left due to the fact that she rarely ever used them in combat, but found them useful for surprise attacks. She had to keep to the forest, and use only stealth attacks due to his sharingan and her own apprehension of facing him in open close quarter combat. Her hands were still shaking from catching a quick glimpse of his red and black eye. Namida closed her eyes in an attempt to force the image away from her memory, but gasped in shock and whimpered in pain when a kunai grazed her naked shoulder.

Namida spun on her heel with a kunai in hand to deflect the oncoming attack, only to lock gazes with the Jonin and stumble back and away from him. Namida kicked out at him when he lunged at her, but he easily avoided her and blocked the following downward thrust of her kunai with his own and nicked the soft inside of her wrist in the process with the tip, which made her drop her kunai. Namida flipped backwards and landed on the long trunk of a tree, her right hand in her weapons pouch searching for something. When Kakashi threw several kunai at her she forced her body to flip backwards again and onto the branch above her while the kunai struck the tree trunk. "Y-you're holding back senpai." Namida spoke for the first time since their lesson began. Her voice was shaky, but still soft, almost a murmur. "So are you." Kakashi stated and Namida nodded her head at the truth of his statement.

"I… I can't face you in close combat senpai. You're too strong." She admitted and Kakashi paused at her confession, only to have a handful of Makibishi spikes thrown at his face. He jumped back not expecting such a move and threw up his arm to deflect the spikes away from their target: his eyes, but by the time the spikes fell harmlessly to the ground she was gone, as well as two of the kunai he had thrown at her. _'Clever girl,'_ He mused humorlessly, but noted the fear that had suddenly struck her upon seeing his face. The fear hadn't been there until he had uncovered his hidden eye. That was why she wouldn't face him in combat. It was his sharingan eye that had her spooked and running, not only because he was stronger than her. Meanwhile, hidden behind a tree and bushes Namida carefully wrapped her injuries and viciously berated herself for using such a dirty tactic on her new senpai, even though it had worked out exactly the way she had planned. Normally she fought fairly, but upon having that unnatural eye gaze upon her she couldn't help but instinctually want to remove it, permanently and violently if necessary.

'_What have I done? I hope there was no damage done to either of his eyes. I shouldn't have done that. He's going to hate me for it.'_ She sucked in a deep calming breath and fought back the tears that threatened to fall from her dark eyelashes. _'I can't keep doing this. Even with all of the traps I've set, they're for naught if I can't even land a single blow on him, while he's already gotten me twice. I have to distract the sharingan somehow and… face him.'_ She thought miserably to herself with her head hung low and balled her trembling hands into a fist. _'I have to do this. Hatake senpai is my last chance… but it's just so hard.'_ She whimpered and wanted to just give up right then and there, but sensed the oncoming frontal attack and managed to move out of the way just in the nick of time. "Are you going to give up already? Are you really that weak?" The callous, yet uncaring voice of her new senpai asked as he bombarded her with ruthless punches and well-aimed kicks. Namida startled at his tone and paused for a second too long and received a knee to her stomach for her mishap.

The bone jarring kick sent her to her knees with a ragged gasp and the tears she had been trying to hold in finally escaped. Namida choked and gagged unable to catch her breath, as Kakashi stood over her with an unreadable expression on his masked face. "Y-you don't… you can't…" She started but choked on a sob. "I can't what? I can't understand what you're going through?" He asked sharply and Namida's face shot up to look at him through her hair and nodded pitifully. "Perhaps I can't." He muttered and let his eyes flicker over to where their audience was hiding. "But what I do understand is that you're letting down your old teammates, your friends, your former sensei and your former senpai. You're crushing all of their hard work and their belief in you." He bit out tersely, both eyes narrowed in on her shaking form at his feet. Namida flinched as if she had been slapped but didn't retaliate and he didn't expect her to. She was too reserved, almost a puppet and she wasn't even trying to fight him. He was insulted. Not only for himself, but for the others that believed in her.

"You're not a helpless child Mikazuki Namida. You're a Chunin of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, a ninja who has a duty to protect those who cannot do so themselves, so grow up!" He yelled, pulled a kunai and plunged it at her neck. To Namida time seemed to slow down in that moment, but in reality she knew it was a split second action that saved her from harm. Namida swung her legs out from under her body and managed to nick one of his legs, which momentarily threw him off balance and caused his kunai to miss her jugular by barely a centimeter. It was a small reprieve before he regained his bearings but it was enough for her to use his arm to pull herself onto her feet and kick him in the side. As Kakashi slid away from her he noticed that her face was fully visible for once and a cold barrier had formed over her usually kind eyes and soft features. But it wasn't just her eyes that were cold. The air around him felt cooler, when just moments before it was quite humid. It was a strange occurrence, but he didn't pause to think about it as Namida held a kunai loosely in her hand, ready to throw it at a moment's notice.

With his sharingan eye, Kakashi noticed her lips that he previously thought were trembling were actually moving to form words, but he was unable to make them out or even hear what she was saying. He found out moments later however when an unexpected arctic-like wind struck him from out of nowhere with enough force to cut skin and uproot his stance. It almost felt like there were tiny invisible needles hidden in the wind itself as they lashed out against him. Namida was unaffected however, as she rushed at him kunai drawn and hair whipping in the wind like a blizzard. Their kunai clashed and sparks flew as they traded blows. "You're right, I am weak senpai." Namida said as she threw her last senbon and managed to cut the side of his arm. It was a shallow wound that wouldn't even leave a scar, but it was enough for her to feel like she actually accomplished something important and paid him back for drawing her blood twice.

Kakashi drew back, away from the fight and looked her over as she stood before him now. He had to disagree with her former statement. She wasn't weak. She just had no faith in her own abilities or herself. But he understood now why so many had such strong faith in her, why they would fight for her when she wouldn't even fight for herself. She had talent, even if it was hidden behind self-doubt and a meek personality, but she was also a genuinely good-hearted person. He looked her over once again and saw that her little wind trick, for he was positive it had been her doing, had taken up almost all of her chakra and yet she was still willing to fight. He straightened and returned his kunai back to his pouch, before he pulled his head band back over his sharingan eye. "We're done for the day Mikazuki-san, you can relax now." He told her calmly. Namida blinked and the icy shine that had covered her features melted away instantaneously and her long hair fell back over her face as she nodded and put away her kunai.

"Thank you, Hatake senpai." She spoke with a bow, her submissive and polite personality still very much intact. "I expect to see you here tomorrow afternoon." He said casually, having decided that she was worth his time and attention. He had barely scratched the surface with her and he had many questions but refrained from asking her for the time being. Namida looked genuinely surprised but merely nodded and he noticed a small smile curl at the corner of her lips. As he went to pass her he stopped when she bowed again and spoke. "I'm sorry for hurting you senpai." She whispered sincerely. "It's fine Mikazuki-san. You're the one who should see a medical ninja." He told her with a smile when she glanced up from the ground. "O-oh, they're not serious Hatake-senpai, really." She answered quickly, but stopped herself from refusing further when he moved closer to her in an intimidating manner that made her step back. Her hand fell back to her kunai pouch instinctively, but he could tell she meant him no harm and had no idea she was actually doing it.

"Get them treated after you leave here Mikazuki-san." He ordered and disappeared in a cloud of smoke when she nodded her head. When he reappeared he was standing only a few feet away from the five observers. "_You_ how could you say those horrible things to her?" Kanya hissed ready to strike the passive Jonin, but was being held back by Tokito who gave the silver haired male an unpleasant look. "I only told her what she needed to hear, Tadahiro-san." Kakashi replied coolly only slightly ruffled by the red haired woman's anger. "You and your team have been babying her all of her ninja life. She needs to learn to stand on her own or fall." Kanya snarled, but dropped her gaze while Hana and Tokito had guilty expressions on their face. They knew it was the truth and couldn't deny it. "Now, now Kakashi I realize that their protectiveness of her has caused problems, but it is just their way. No one can fault them for what they have done." The Hokage spoke up trying to defuse the situation and rid everyone of their guilt or anger.

Kakashi nodded respectfully. "Now, you may release your sensei Kizashi-kun. I believe she has calmed enough to be free." The Hokage laughed and Tokito nodded before he let go of his ex-sensei who glared at him from over her shoulder as he stepped away. "Are you going to take her on as your student Hatake-senpai?" Hana asked calmly. Kakashi nodded and noted that everyone looked relieved, except for the Hokage who seemed to have already known and Kanya who was glaring at the ground. "Well now that this matter has been settled, I'll bid all of you a good evening." The Hokage told the ninja before he turned and walked off. "I must leave as well, excuse me." Tokito announced but assured Hana that he would be eating over at her house later before he disappeared in a swirl of green leaves, followed quickly by Hana who apologized for having to leave so soon. "You're awfully quiet Genma, something on your mind?" Kakashi stated after several long minutes of silence between the two stragglers.

The silent brown haired man rolled the senbon between his teeth in an irritated manner before he spoke, but his eyes never left the snowy haired Chunin who was busy collecting the used kunai and senbon. "You felt it right? The wintry wind she produced without so much as a single hand sign." He stated and Kakashi nodded his head. "She's only done that once before, despite my efforts to… force it out of her on several occasions. I've spoken to the Hokage about it, but he is just as confused as to where her power comes from as everyone else is." Genma paused and Kakashi noticed that his eyes softened affectionately when he watched his former subordinate, but chose to ignore it. "I have come to the conclusion that it only happens when she is emotionally unstable. She uses it habitually, it's a defense mechanism of sorts and she's scared of it. Of what it can do. What you felt today was not even half of what she can generate, but if you continue to use the method you have been, you will face its fury, perhaps even stronger than what I experienced."

Genma finally turned his full attention to the silver haired Jonin, his expression serious and eyes dark. "If she finds out that she is using it, she will do anything she can to hide it, even purposely lose a battle in which she could be killed." Kakashi nodded in understanding, taking into consideration his advice and his unspoken warning. "You should go to her." Kakashi suddenly said flippantly as he pulled out his book and began to read. Genma raised a curious eyebrow at the comment, but Kakashi didn't even acknowledge the hidden threat within the simple gesture. "You told the Hokage to tell her that you would meet her here at five. You have three minutes before you're late." The silver haired Jonin stated before he disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Genma watched as the smoke cleared wondering if he needed to find the habitually late Jonin later and speak to him, but decided that his secret was safe due to the former's comments just moments before he left. _'He sees more hidden things without that damned eye than he lets on.' _Genma grunted and bit down on the senbon between his teeth, before he stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked out of his hiding spot to meet with Namida as he had promised.

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_**A/N: **Bellus Lacrimosa is Latin for "Beautiful Weeping"._


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: **Phew, this took a long time to write and with it being a little over seven pages long I am officially give out. I JUST finished it so it may be a little, or maybe a lot rough, I don't really know. But I hope it was worth the wait._

**Take care,**

**-SugarLandBabyGirl**

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_**Chapter Three**_

Namida was having trouble finding her last missing senbon. It was the one she had nicked Hatake-senpai with in the arm, no less. Her wrist and shoulder still tinged with pain, even with her careful movements, but she was thankful that the Jonin hadn't used any poison techniques. Gingerly she brushed her fingertips over her shoulder wound in a soothing motion, before her hand fell lifelessly back to her side and her shoulders slumped slightly in defeat. She was a failure.

Hatake-senpai had been going easy on her and all she had to do was step up, but as usual she couldn't even do that. It was hopeless. She didn't even know why he accepted her in the first place. She had no real talent and she was easily spooked, plus she was overly sensitive and emotional, something a true shinobi should never be. That fact was proven not even five minutes ago. Namida sighed and genteelly sat down under the closest tree. Her search for the missing senbon abated for the moment.

She closed her eyes briefly and silently listened to the gentle wind whistling through the trees and the birds singing happily. It really was a lovely day, she mused to herself, wanting nothing more than to flop down on the soft grass and rest in the shade of the tree for the rest of the day. _'But that wouldn't be proper.'_ She immediately scolded herself for the self-indulgent notion, she had been taught better than that. Namida sensed his approach, before she heard his habitually soft footfalls and immediately rose to her feet, still mindful of her wounds and aching stomach she was sure was beginning to bruise.

"Shiranui-senpai," She said softly and bowed. "Namida-chan," The brown haired man smiled affectionately, even though she couldn't see it and nodded, already used to the pale girl's always polite habits and mannerisms. "I believe this belongs to you," He then said and held out his hand to her, palm open. When Namida straightened from her bow, her covered gaze landed on her missing senbon, and it was hers, the slight trace of dried blood on one end proved it.

Namida felt the embarrassed blush heat up her pale cheeks and she whispered a soft 'thank you' to the grinning Jonin before she took back her previously missing weapon. With the senbon in hand Namida pulled out a white cloth from her pouch and began to clean the metal needle. Genma watched the younger girl as she zoned in on cleaning the weapon and nothing else. It was almost a ritual she performed after using her weapons. After she pocketed the senbon and the cleaning cloth Genma spoke. "You did well today Namida-chan."

The white haired girl froze, a look of dismay plastered on her face at his words. "No, no I didn't Shiranui-senpai. Please don't lie for my benefit." She reproached him softly, her tone slightly colder than the norm, but still well within the boundaries of politeness. Genma frowned at her negativity, but shrugged it off knowing she was angry and disappointed with herself. "I didn't lie. Your senbon techniques have gotten a lot better. Your aim especially, though it is not as good as mine but you're getting close. Who knows, one day I might actually have a rival." He gave her a subtle flirty grin to which she flushed a soft rose pink and turned her back to him in discomfiture.

"D-don't say such nonsense senpai." She stuttered and nervously began to wring her hands together. "E-everyone knows your senbon techniques are unsurpassable." She continued with only one minor slip up in her otherwise composed tone. Genma stuffed his hands into his pockets to keep from pulling her into an intimate embrace. To him her stuttering and flushed face was nothing short of endearing and utterly tempting.

Genma was well aware that he was a little old for her, being so close to thirty that he could almost touch it, while she was barely into womanhood but not yet considered an adult by the law, two more years and she would be of proper marriageable age. He knew there was some level of attraction for him on her side, but being her senpai and much older was a hard gap to close for both of them, especially her. There was so much that could go wrong or be misinterpreted and so much to be lost if something happened. It was complicated either way, especially where her family was concerned.

"Maybe, but even if they are as unsurpassable as you say, one day, they won't be." He told her with a rueful grin. His gaze was distant as he watched a small flock of birds fly overhead. Namida turned at the sudden change of tone and her hands slowly dropped to her sides. "You see, the younger generation will always surpass the one that comes before. That's just how it works." He turned back to the frowning, gloomy eyed kunoichi who was almost ready to cry. Genma cocked his head to the side and smiled. "I want you to surpass me one day and become a great kunoichi."

Namida couldn't stop the tears from falling after that. His words struck her hard and they meant so much, but she felt more regret than happiness at his confidence in her. Her lips began to tremble and she quickly bit her bottom lip, as her throat began to dry and close up. Unable to speak, Namida once again turned away from the brown haired shinobi. "I… I'm sorry Shiranui-senpai," She whispered hoarsely, her voice was barely detectable as she attempted to wipe her damp face dry. "… I don't think I can do as you ask."

Genma tensed at the heartbreaking tone and quiet sniffles the young Chunin was trying to muffle. With soft eyes and tense shoulders the Tokubetsu Jonin eased up behind his pupil and hesitated only for a brief moment before he placed his hand on her head and gently ruffled her long white hair, which was just as soft as it looked. "Don't apologize. Just don't ever give up, no matter what." He told her in response. Namida was silent. She was no longer crying, but her posture was tense as if she was going to bolt at any second.

It was then that he finally noticed that his hand that had previously been teasing snowy tresses was now tenderly running calloused fingertips through said hair. Upon this realization Genma apologized and returned his hands back to his pockets, silently cursing himself for his stupid mistake. "Y-you don't have to apologize senpai, I'm the one who can't control my emotions." The reply was soft and meek, but Genma detected trace amounts of shame that she should not be feeling at all.

"Namida," The Chunin jumped at the unfamiliar coolness in her former senpai's tone, but turned her head towards him and flinched when his narrowed eyes pierced straight through her snowy veil. "Don't ever be ashamed of who you are." He told her sternly, but his gaze softened with his next words. "You are perfect just the way you are, faults and all. I wouldn't have you any other way, and neither should anyone else." He finished softly wishing so desperately that he could brush the hair away from her face to see her reaction.

He just wanted to hold her, to show her that he cared and would always be there for her. However he knew that even if she did wholeheartedly return his feelings, she would never act upon them without her family's permission and that was a request they would never grant. A cutting sensation struck his chest causing him to wince, but he brushed it off as best he could despite the stinging pain of fully acknowledging the truth. "Remember what I said, Namida-chan, don't change who you are for anyone." He told her sternly, and yet there was a softness in his gaze that belied his firm tone and forced detachment.

Namida nodded and gave a small smile, before she was suddenly and unexpectedly pushed forward by a gentle hand to the middle of her back. "Go get those wounds treated or Hatake will have my head." Genma grinned at the surprised look on the Chunin's face, when she turned to face him. "Go on," He motioned her forward with his free hand. Namida didn't move for several moments as she studied the older Jonin. His stance was casually lax and his expression was one of friendly amusement, but she couldn't help but feel that something was wrong, but when nothing changed for several moments, she turned to fully face him and bowed.

"Arigato gozaimasu, Shiranui-senpai," She gave a slight smile as she rose from her bow and bid him a polite farewell before she turned and walked away, Genma watching her retreating form until she completely disappeared from his sight. He sighed heavily and bobbed the senbon between his teeth with his tongue as his gaze shot skyward. Thoughts and feelings rushed through him like a tidal wave as he carelessly flopped down onto the grassy ground in the shade of the same tree Namida had previously been sitting under.

"So much for keeping my distance," Genma muttered to himself, halfheartedly angry at his unconscious actions earlier. Was it wrong to feel like he did towards Namida? That question's answer continued to evade him. With a disgruntled groan he crossed his arms behind his head and let his body fall backwards until his back lay flat against the ground. He hadn't been this caught up in a girl since he was fifteen. She had been pretty much his first everything. It didn't last long though, but it was great while it lasted. Relationships were difficult, no matter how old or experienced one got.

Namida was a completely different person from his first love, but she stirred some of the same feelings that he had felt as a teenager and lost after becoming a committed shinobi. It was a shame really that Namida had chosen to become a shinobi, but if she hadn't he knew that her family would have hidden her away from the eyes of the world. They would have buried their "shame", as he came to find they regularly called her, and the rest of the world wouldn't have been any wiser.

Genma closed his eyes and exhaled slowly trying not to break the senbon between his teeth as his anger built. It was possible to do so, despite all remarks to the contrary. A part of him hated her family for considering her worthless and making her the way she was, and yet, another very small part however was thankful to them for their mistreatment, which led her to join the Ninja Academy which led her into his life. It was a twisted way of thinking, but that was how he felt about her situation.

He knew why she joined even though the odds were clearly stacked against her and still was. As a kunoichi she could find some semblance of freedom. However, she would be eternally tied down to the village and the Hokage. So in reality, she had only traded one shackle and chain for another. She would never truly be free. But was this the lesser of two evils, of this he was not certain. Nor could he make an unbiased decision on the matter. He was far too involved for that.

Namida had her wounds looked after at a small, but well-known Clinic near the outskirts of Konohagakure, of which she had been a patron of since she was old enough to go there by herself. After leaving, Namida realized that she still had a little time left before she had to be at the Inuzuka home. She did not want to return home and re-inform her family head that she was still not but a disgrace. Shamefully, she knew they would only expect that kind of response, as it seemed to be the only kind she could ever give.

Silently the snowflake haired girl eased her way through the busy streets unnoticed, despite her odd looks. When she was younger she had been noticed and often pointed out for her unusualness, but the people had long since become accustomed to her ghostly presence. She was contented for this disregard. They no longer whispered and stared. She would never rebuke them, as she had been taught not to. But still, it did bother her.

"You wanted to see me, Hokage-sama." Kakashi announced his presence in a dull monotone, despite his curiosity at being called to the Hokage's Office so soon after leaving. The Hokage glanced up from his scrolls and gave the lazy Jonin a smile. "I'm sorry for this inconvenience Kakashi, but there's something I want you to see." Kakashi's attention was successfully caught with those words and he took the manila folder that the Hokage handed him. Kakashi eyed the smiling Hokage for a moment before flipping open the folder.

It was the shinobi file for one Mikazuki Namida. There were even a bunch of photos that were used for updates on her appearance, though it was hardly necessary. She really hadn't changed much since childhood. Some of the pictures dated as far back to when she was an Academy student and only one before that time. Carefully he picked up the aged and worn picture of a scared looking little girl with snow white hair. She couldn't have been any older than three or four years old when it was taken. He returned the picture to the bottom of the pile and read further into her file. It had everything imaginable about her in it, from her current height and weight to her blood type. They even had all of her Academy grades listed, along with the places she often visited.

They had kept and still were keeping constant tabs on her; suspiciously so, in truth. The next few pages were her medical records. Apparently she'd, secretly, had a psychiatric evaluation when she was five and several more thereafter. She had also had several physical and competency evaluations throughout her life and she was scheduled for more in three months time. The most surprising information yet, was what came next. Up until she was sixteen, two years prior, she had been sent to a psychiatrist that specialized in working with shinobi almost on a weekly basis.

The further he read into the young Chunin's file the more confused he became. As far as he could tell Namida wasn't mentally ill. A little unusual yes, but all shinobi were like that in some way or another. All shinobi were sent to a shinobi psychiatrist, it was mandatory with their line of work, but never this often unless there was some proof of mental instability. Kakashi couldn't help but think that he was missing some very crucial facts. With a raised eyebrow he flipped to the next page and nearly dropped the file after reading two paragraphs in. He glanced up from the folder, his dark eyes narrowed and his gaze that of disbelief and questioning. He wasn't sure that what he had just read was actually valid.

"Read on Kakashi, and remember this information is highly classified." Kakashi nodded his head but didn't verbally answer the Hokage, as he picked up the three photographs that were not of Namida. They were her parents and her little brother. She mostly resembled her mother in looks, but there were distinct, major differences between the two females. However, she barely resembled her father and even less of her brother. There was so little of her father in her that it took intense inspection to even see the smallest trace it.

When he was through reading the full length of her file, he gingerly closed the envelope and glanced up to meet the placid gaze of the Hokage. "How many people know what's in this?" He asked while handing the folder back to the Hokage. "Outside of the heads of her family only the Council, a few ANBU, Tadahiro Kanya and now you know the full truth. Shiranui Genma and her closest friends know only a portion of it, due to their past with her." Kakashi sighed heavily as the full burden of what he had decided to take on now made itself clear and it didn't make his training of her any easier on either of them.

"Does she know about this?" He asked after a brief moment of silence. The Hokage made a thoughtful 'hmm' noise and linked his hands together in a thoughtful pose. "Perhaps," He murmured, "We will never know the extent of her knowledge. However, I believe that she does know most of this already either by instinct or common knowledge, but this is merely a speculation on my part." A contemplative silence quickly ensued between the two males; both were in deep reflection of the situations that they were in.

"Was all of this really necessary?" Kakashi couldn't help but ask. It was as if they wanted to find something wrong with the girl. It was odd, to say the least. Their motives were more underhanded than merely curious from what he had read. "Well, normally it wouldn't be allowed to go so far." The Hokage sighed before taking a deep inhale of his pipe. He looked troubled and so much older now. "I initially was against this treatment of her being as young as she was and all. However, the Council would not bend on the matter and her family did not object." Kakashi didn't reply to the Hokage's words. There was nothing he could say on this matter as it really was none of his business, but now he had answers to some of the question he had.

Meanwhile, Namida mingled among the crowded streets, her hidden gaze flickering from store sign to store sign as she passed by them. As often as she traveled the streets, she should have known every shop and person by heart and yet, every time she walked the same path she never saw the same things she had the day before. There was always some small thing different form one day to the next. It was so different from her own life and she looked forward to the diversity of the world around her.

She walked around for several minutes more before she decided that it was time to head on over to the Inuzuka home. Hana would be quite cross with her if Namida were late and gave the impression that she didn't want to come. Regretfully something of the like had happened before, only Namida had wanted to join her friends, she just was not allowed to. Namida was bound by her clan and could not refuse them when ordered to do or refrain from doing something.

It was a quick, peaceful trip to the Inuzuka residence as it had always been. Just as Namida was about to announce her presence the door slid open to reveal a frowning Tokito. "Why do you even bother with being so traditional and polite Namida? The dog could smell you from twenty miles away." He announced in a tone that to anyone else would have been rude, but Namida only blushed at being caught and smiled. "Oh, shut up Toki-kun, you're just jealous." Hana teased him by using his most hated nickname and lightly smacked the back of his head before she somewhat gently shoved him out of the doorway in order to grab Namida's wrist and pull her inside the house.

Tokito's face scrunched up as if he smelled something bad, but he didn't retort and closed the door behind the two females. Hana only gave Namida brief moment to remove her shoes before she pulled the white haired girl into the living room. "My little brother and mom are going to be eating with us tonight." Hana informed the quietest member of their team as Tokito sat down. "It will be good to see Kiba-kun and Tsume-san again." Namida smiled behind her long curtain of hair, before moving to sit at the table with her teammates. Tokito nodded his head in agreement, but inwardly shuttered at the prospect of having to sit through a meal with Hana's mother. The woman utterly terrified him. There were a lot of rumors about the female Inuzuka family head and after meeting her he didn't think all of them were groundless.

Hana cocked her head to side and smiled as Namida, ever so genteelly, sat with her legs under her thighs and her behind resting on her heels. Her hands were folded modestly on her lap like a meek little housewife waiting for her husband to give an order or a servant waiting for her master. Namida was the always polite, quiet and traditional one. She was too meek, really. Hana, coming from a rather eccentric and boisterous family, actually liked the peaceful aura Namida gave off, but sometimes the girl could be too calm. There was nothing wrong with being a rebel every once in a while, it was actually healthy to do so. Namida however hadn't quite caught on to that fact, yet. One day, Hana swore she was going to get her to loosen up, preferably before the team hit middle-age.

Hana eyed the only male of their team. Tokito sat with one knee bent under him and the other straight up so he could rest his arm on his upright knee. Tokito was often laidback, yet still the most mature of their group and at times the most irritable. However, Tokito was usually only ill-tempered when Hana teased him with his so hated nickname. Tokito came from a small, lesser known clan in the Village that could very easily be overlooked. The Kizashi clan rarely produced any shinobi, until Tokito was born. He was considered by some, mostly the members of his clan, to be a 'genius' but if you asked him he would deny it. He was actually quite modest about his prowess as a shinobi. However, if asked about women, he was anything but. He was quite popular among the female population and yet as much as he flirted, it was harmless and no one ever got hurt.

"Will Tadahiro-sensei be joining us?" Namida asked after a moment of reflection. Hana 'hummed' and shrugged her shoulders. "Who knows about sensei," She chuckled. "I invited her, but sensei is sensei so I can't say yay or nay for sure." Tokito scoffed. "That baka-sensei has probably been sent on a mission for a few days. The Hokage wouldn't keep her in the village when Shiranui-san and Hatake-senpai are so easily accessible to her wrath." He told them bluntly. "I do not envy them at the moment." Hana nodded in agreement and cracked a mischievous grin that seemed to run in the family, even though it was a lot less feral looking on the oldest Inuzuka child.

"She's mad at them because of me." Tokito and Hana glanced from one another to the quiet kunoichi who had spoken. "Kind of," Hana sighed, knowing exactly where this conversation was going. A quick pointed glance from Tokito told her he knew as well. "But, Shiranui-san should have consulted with her before making such a crucial decision for her student, and well, she's never like Hatake-san as far as I can remember. Although before today I didn't realize it was in fact him she was always so furious with. Who'd of imagined that?" She mused aloud and chuckled softly under her breath trying to lighten the darkening atmosphere.

"I heard from my senpai that Hatake-san and sensei have been like that since they were teenagers." Tokito spoke up, his shamrock green gaze narrowed in on the smooth lacquered tabletop. "Apparently Hatake-san did something and now she's his lifelong enemy. Don't ask what exactly it was that he did, because I wasn't told that part." He ended his detail less story abruptly. Hana frowned and Namida's head tilted downwards in thought. Tokito shuffled his weight around to get more comfortable. "Anyhow," He droned with a mischievous smirk that belied his uncaring tone. "What are we eating, Kibbles 'n Bits?" Namida's eyes went wide at his words and her hands shot up to muffle the giggles that were threatening to escape from behind her lips.

Hana's face wrinkled as if angry, but when a sly smirk made its way to her lips Tokito's shoulders visibly stiffened. "Watch your back." She smiled; her tone poisonously sweet. Before Tokito could even make a move to defend himself from the oncoming attack, he was jumped from behind by three large, growling canines. Tokito hit the tatami mat floor with a grunt and a dull 'thump'. The three shaggy ash coated wolfish looking dogs and the blond shinobi wrestled around on the floor for several minutes before the shinobi was soundly defeated by the combo attack of the _Haimaru Sankyōdai_. The triplets looked positively pleased with their victory with their tails wagging happily and their pink tongues lazily hanging out.

"Hana get them off before I suffocate!" Tokito's muffled voice could be heard from under the literal dog-pile. The largest of the triplets was laid length wise across Tokito's chest, while the other one held down his legs and the third lay crouched across his face. "Good job boys!" Hana praised happily and Namida openly laughed at the situation Tokito had landed himself in. He should have known better than to insult Hana when the triplets were around. Even though they would never hurt him, they would still make him pay for the crime of insulting their beloved partner. Hana called the triplets off of the blond and they happily obliged to return to her side. Tokito groaned softly as he pulled himself off the floor mumbling incoherent things about 'choking to death on fleas' and 'large slobbery mutts'.

Hana ignored him, despite her sensitive hearing, while the three gray canines moved to lay down by her side. She stroked each of them tenderly, giving them all of her praise and love. Namida smiled at the scene, while Tokito huffed and tried to smoothen out his wrinkled clothing. The smallest and coincidentally the youngest of the trio whined and yipped before crawling on his belly over to the white haired kunoichi, where he snuggled as close as his large body would let him to her, almost like wanted in her lap.

"He missed you." Hana translated when he whined again. Namida smiled and softly stroked his furry head. "I missed you too." She softly told the canine which earned her a happy wag. "You need to come by more often, both of you." Hana gave her two old teammates a pointed stare to solidify her words. Tokito nodded his head with a noncommittal grunt and Namida gave a sheepish smile. "Now, for the lecture I had planned." Namida visibly shrunk at Hana's words and stern tone.

"I've decided that it won't be necessary, anymore." She continued in a lighter tone to which Namida perked up. "From what I can gather from your scent, Shiranui-san has beaten me to it, and as much as I'd like to pound another lecture into that block of a head resting on your shoulders, I want tonight's dinner to be pleasant." Tokito raised a disbelieving eyebrow at the word 'pleasant'. Dinner with Inuzuka Tsume was never pleasant for males, unless you happened to be her son or considered to be her adopted pup: Mikazuki Namida.

Apparently, for some reason he could never fathom, Tsume thought Tokito smelled bad. She'd straight up told him exactly that several years ago. To this day he still had no idea what she meant by that. Hana and Kiba had just laughed at him when he had asked them what their mother meant and if Namida knew, then she wasn't telling. Tokito frowned at the mere thought of being kept out of the loop. How could she say he stunk when he bathed regularly, as in twice a day when possible.

He had thought it might be his laundry detergent when he was younger, but he had used every kind there was and she still thought he smelled. He had changed his shampoo, his body wash, his hair gel and his cologne. The result had stayed the same no matter what he did. So he eventually gave up and went back to his preferred scents. Life was now much, much easier on him, except when Hana forgot to mention beforehand that her mother would be present at dinner. Talk about a monster-in-law and a half. Hana would never get married if her mother had any say in it. That much was certain.

"Heh, I thought I smelled something bad." A rough, though distinctly feminine voice spoke up and Tokito felt his blood run cold before freezing in his veins. With wide eyes he turned his head to see the head of the family glaring down at him with her nose wrinkled. It was the face she always had when he was around. Kiba cracked a wicked fanged grin behind his mother's back. The poor sap, he didn't stand a chance. His mother really was torturing him just for the fun of it. "Welcome home mother, Kiba." Hana greeted them as they walked into the room, their canine partners by the side, or in Akamaru's case, on Kiba's head.

Kiba moved around from behind his mother and carelessly plopped down across the table from Namida and beside Tokito, who was still frozen in fear at the sudden appearance of Tsume. "Hey Namida-nee, haven't seen you around in a while. How've you been?" Kiba asked as he removed Akamaru from his head to put him in his lap. "I have been well, thank you for asking Kiba-kun. How are you and Akamaru fairing?" Namida smiled and kindly asked. "Mmm, well I have been better, but Akamaru is great, right boy?" The white pup barked to confirm Kiba's words. "Today I was put in a three man cell with that creepy bug-boy Aburame Shino and this quiet girl that always stutters, Hyūga Hinata. Ya know she actually reminds me a lot of you, Namida-nee, only she's much worse." Namida smiled behind her curtain of hair as he finished his story.

"Who will be your new sensei?" Hana asked turning her attention to her little brother as their mother sat down at the crowded table. "Uh, she's a Jonin that I've never seen before, said her name was Yūhi Kurenai." Kiba answered in a bored tone. "She's a new one, although I have heard good things about her. She should be a good sensei." Tokito spoke up, having finally thawed somewhat from the initial shock. However he was still visibly uncomfortable in the presence of Tsume. Hana stood up to get the food, but shook her head when Namida moved to help. "You stay here Namida. Do you want to insult our hospitality?" Hana asked as a, somewhat, cruel joke knowing that the white haired girl would stay if tradition was used against her.

"Hey Toki-baka, make yourself useful and help Hana with the food." Tsume demanded with an unyielding tone to her voice. "Hai!" The blond shot up from his seat and briskly marched into the kitchen without any form of complaint. Before the young ANBU was even out of sight and hearing distance Kiba broke out into raucous laughter that had him rolling on the floor. Namida giggled softly and Tsume gave a grin that was absolutely predatory and pleased. "You see Namida," The rough woman spoke, her dark eyes landing on the delicate snow girl who now had her full attention on the older woman. "That's how you handle men. If they stay then they're worth the trouble, if not, then you're better off without them. Remember that, 'cause it'll save you a lot of trouble in the future."

Namida nodded her head, but her grimacing expression was well hidden behind her hair. Tsume-san was a good person, but Namida doubted that a woman needed to be that draconian with men in order to see if they were good enough. Besides Namida didn't have enough of the older woman's nerve to order anyone around, let alone a man. She had been taught since she was an infant that men were dominant and women naturally subservient to their will. Honestly she saw no wrong in either, as long as certain, crucial boundaries were not crossed on both sides. But perhaps she only thought that way because she had grown up around both self-reliant and subservient women and saw the good and bad of both.

"Dinner is served," Hana announced with a smile as she, followed by a lagging Tokito brought in arm loads of food. "It smells great, Hana." Namida commented as the scent of various foods wafted around the room. Kiba was practically drooling and even Tsume looked a little less hostile than usual when Tokito was around. "Thank you, I hope it tastes as good as it smells." Hana chuckled at her own joke. After everything was set on the table and a round of 'Itadaki-masu's' were said, they broke their chopsticks and dug in to the freshly cooked homemade meal.

A couple hours later, after night had fallen Tokito and Namida left the Inuzuka home to head back to their respective domiciles. Of course Tokito, being like a big brother-best friend to Namida refused to let her walk home alone, despite him living in the opposite direction. Namida didn't put up much of a fight due to Tokito's well-known stubbornness. Their trip was mostly taken in silence due to neither being the most talkative individuals. However the quiet was peaceful, familiar. It was Namida who broke the silence. "Tokito-san," The blond shinobi almost rolled his eyes at the ridiculous honorific she always used when speaking to him. "Pardon my prying, but have you ever considered that the reason why Tsume-san is so hard on you is because you refuse to be honest with your intentions towards Hana-chan."

Tokito's shoulders tensed. "How long have you known?" He asked lowly, though not accusing. Namida stopped walking and turned to face the taller male. "Since we were fourteen," She answered. "So the reason Tsume-san hates me is because she thinks that I'm not good enough for Hana." He murmured thoughtfully, his arms crossed defensibly over his chest. "That is not it." Namida shook her head and hesitantly touched the bare olive skin on his arm in an act of attempted comfort. "She wants you to prove to her and especially to Hana that you will stay by her side no matter what. She is only looking out for her only daughter." Tokito gave a disgruntled grumble she couldn't distinguish, but he looked to have calmed from understanding.

Another peaceful silence settled around them. The moon was full and the night sky clear enough that no star was hidden from their view. "Strange," Namida turned her eyes away from the sky when she heard Tokito's low voice. "What is strange?" She asked bringing her hands together in front of her, her hidden expression one of question and patience. "It's nothing. You need to get home before your family gets the wrong impression." He dismissed her question and gave her a half smile before walking away. Namida startled at his abrupt evacuation and hurried to catch up to him, nearly stumbling over her own two feet in the process.

Tokito snickered at her mishap. "Are you alright back there Namida?" He asked with a teasing grin and smiling eyes. "H-hai," He heard her mumble ashamedly. A soft rusting told him that she was trying to straighten her clothes while trying not to be noticed. He shook his head. She was such a traditionalist that girl. When she finally reached his side he noticed that her clothing was indeed neat and he was quite certain that she was blushing furiously behind her long mane of hair. Since before he had even known her name, Namida had always hidden behind her long hair, he had only seen her face three times to date while Hana had seen her five times. Namida was quite pretty, make no mistake about that. She was just so timid and lacked confidence that she was easily over looked. He blamed her traditionalist family.

When he glanced up from the ground he saw that they had finally reached their destination. "Thank you for taking me home. Have a safe trip back, Tokito-san." Namida's tone told him that she was smiling. He nodded his head in response. "Take care, Namida-chan. I'll see you around." He told her before disappearing in a swirl of autumn colored leaves and a subtle woodsy scented breeze. As quietly as possible Namida crept into the vast yard of her family home, hoping that she wouldn't wake anyone up. The door made a rough, yet soft rolling noise as she slid it open and she internally cringed when the sound came again while closing it. The house was dark and creepily silent as she eased her way down the long hallway, towards her room. Just as she stepped in front of the last door before she reached her room she noticed that someone was hidden in the shadows.

A stifled gasp left her mouth when a pair of cold eyes pierced straight through her veil of hair and met her gaze. Immediately she dropped into a bow that he did not return and she did not rise from. "I am very sorry for disturbing your rest, otouto-sama. Please forgive me, it will not happen again." Namida's voice was completely subservient, if not pleading. She did not want her little brother to tell the family head about her unjustifiable lateness and that she had disturbed someone while sneaking, unsuccessfully, back into the house. The silhouette of her brother glared down at her for several moments before he turned his back to her and closed his door in her face without saying a word. Namida let out a soft sigh of relief before she picked herself up off the floor and entered her room, as quietly as possible.

She shuffled around her room for several minutes, carefully discarding her weapons and changing into a light sleeping yukata, before slipping under the soothingly cool covers of her mattress. The silvery light from the round moon above crept through the slightly ajar window and landed on the close-eyed girl. Her snow white hair almost appeared to be a soft icy-blue under the moon light and her pale skin almost seemed to glow. Though not asleep the cool rays of the moon quickly eased her into a deep slumber. Namida was so out of it that she didn't even stir when her door slid open enough for the person standing on the other side to gaze into the room. Cold eyes narrowed on her moonlight bathed form, before sliding the door back closed and the perpetrator slipped back into the shadows of the darkened hallway.


End file.
